*This is a bonus P&R, and it’s free because you should not pay cishet people for talking about/writing/thinking about Pride Month — the latter is literally the least we can do. One fun thing — the proceeds from any new $5/month Paid Sub this month will go to The Okra Project, which provides homemade meals to Black Trans people. You can also donate directly, of course, at this link.*
In case you don’t read the rest of this (no judgment! no pressure!) I wanted to pass on this message from Blair Imani’s IG account (thanks Jordan for reposting it!).
Without Further Ado… Some Thoughts on Evangelicalism, Marriage & Pride Month
Earlier today, while scrolling through Facebook, I stumbled across pictures of a wedding in Illinois. Through FB-friends of friends, I knew the woman getting married — in her early forties, after years of being unhappily single. The comments of friends and family who attended the wedding were… telling. Many referenced and celebrated the marriage as “a sign of God’s faithfulness” and a demonstration of how “God fulfills promises”. I couldn’t stop thinking about the wedding pictures, juxtaposed with the Pride Month posts on other friends’ accounts.
There’s something particularly insidious about Christian purity culture, which makes marriage between two cisgender heterosexual people (and only between two cishet people) seem like some sort of blessing from God. As if God has promised heterosexual marriage. As if compulsory heterosexuality is holy and sanctified. As if God’s faithfulness is related to someone’s marital status.
I’m not always sure what to call or how to describe the kind of faith I practice now. I have different beliefs — about God, myself, gender, and sexuality — than I did in high school or college (thank God!). My faith has been shaped by Shug Avery and Audre Lorde and both of my grandmothers. There are definitely some things I’m still trying to figure out, and some things I’ll be working through for a long time. But, like Oprah, there are a few things I know for sure.
I know that marriage is not a fulfillment of God’s promises. For some people, it is a decision that reflects their happiness in a romantic relationship, but it’s not something any God (including the evangelical one!) ever guaranteed. I know God has not and will never prescribe heterosexual marriage as a practice or solution for everyone. I know compulsory heterosexuality is part of the brokenness of the world and has no place in its healing.
But, most importantly, I know that every LGBTQIA+ person celebrating Pride this month — whether they are out to one person, to everyone they've ever met, or only recently coming out to themselves — is living in their truth and encouraging others to do the same. I know they are intimately apart of healing the brokenness of this world — this month, and every other month of the year.
“Happy Pride” means many things for me. It’s a celebration of everyone whose sexuality, gender identities, and expressions do not fit the narrow boxes we've been assigned or taught to celebrate. It’s a reminder to research the (Black and Trans! woohoo!) origins of Pride. It’s a call to be anticapitalist and abolish the police. But for me, it's also a kind of prayer, to a womanist1 Spirit.
Happy Pride is my prayer for everybody under that umbrella — every lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, gender non-conforming, and asexual person I know (and those I’ve never met) — to be recognized as God’s promises (if you believe in that sort of thing). It’s my prayer for every single person whose gender and/or sexual identities and expressions differs from my own to feel and be celebrated in their happiness and supported in their truths — with health insurance, athletic participation, reproductive and gender-affirming health care, and participation in institutions like “marriage” and “church” if they so choose. Happy Pride is my prayer for the world to be what it should be and a call to continue doing the work to make it so.
To everyone celebrating this month — especially those who aren’t out and those who’ve had tension/friction with the people they love since coming out — Happy Pride!!! I’m so, so glad you’re you. I’m glad that you’re here, in this world. And for everyone celebrating who’s in my life & who’s trusted me enough to come out to me — it’s my honor and blessing to know you even more fully, to love you, and to celebrate your presence in my life and on this planet.
Happy Pride everyone <3
*Thank you for reading and subscribing! See you soon!*